christmas come early

for christmas this year, jerm and i bought each other iphones. at first i was just going along with it. i needed a new phone and had an upgrade available and jerm really wanted the iphone. so easy present to get us both. well let me tell you, it is absolutely fabulous!!! if i had known that a phone could do all this, i would have gotten an iphone when it came out! i now have my phone, my calendar, my to do list, my notes, the weather, internet, email, facebook, grocery list, and a ton more on my phone!!! it has made my life more organized and more efficient! so if anyone is thinking about getting an iphone, it is totally worth the money!!

letting go

due to my ocd tendencies, i have a hard time letting things go. i want to do everything and do it on time and correctly. well this christmas i am trying to relax and let things go a bit. of course i am having to remind myself, almost daily, that it is ok. (that's so sad i know). so i have decided that i am not going to worry about decorating the outside this year. i really really want to but i have no time to do it and let's face it i would only get to enjoy it for a week or two at this point. but i at least will have my red berry wreath on the front door, flowers in the pots in front, and the inside decorated. now on a side note, even the inside decorations, i tried to let go a little this year. partly because of ella's curiousity and again because i have no time to get it completely done up. so the inside has the tree, the christmas card board, the nativity and garland on the mantle, the christmas balls hanging from the kitchen lights, the christmas kitchen towels, and the merry christmas greeter decoration by the back door. for me this year, that is enough to allow me to enjoy the wonderful christmas season without getting too stressed about it. i think part of the downfall of decorating this year is that i usually decorate the day after thanksgiving and i had to work this time.

divine romance

the fullness of Your grace is here with me
the richness of Your beauty's all i see
the brightness of Your glory has arrived
in Your presence God, i'm completely satisfied


for You i sing i dance
rejoice in this divine romance
lift my heart and my hands
to show my love, to show my love


a deep deep flood, an ocean flows from You
of deep deep love, yeah it's filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
in Your presence God i'm completely satisfied


for You i sing i dance
rejoice in this divine romance
lift my heart and my hands
to show my love, to show my love

lyrics by phil wickham

everytime i hear this song on klove, i am overwhelmed with peace. the first few times i heard it, i didn't quite hear what he was saying. but when i really listened to the words, it hit me how powerful it is. we truly have a divine romance with God. and with all the things, people, places, etc. that pull me in so many directions, it is my deepest desire to constantly remember that in God, and only in Him, am i completely satisfied.

christmas is here!

well maybe not quite, but i am definitely starting to feel it! so here are my reasons:

• i saw my first salvation army bell ringer today at kroger! i just love that sound!


• it has been extra cold for this time of year the last week.


• i got out my snowmen plates (absolutely love these plates; got them at my christmas wedding shower; and still searching for the pattern to add more!)


• i bought ella 2 stocking stuffers and 1 gift for under the tree


• i actually got a wish list compiled for the 3 of us


• i started addressing our christmas card envelopes (still have to take the pic though!)


• i made a lists of gifts to get

almost unsalvagable

i think that every working mother should have a housekeeper/cleaner. i really think it should come as a package. husband + children + work = housekeeper. even though i know a maid would not clean to my specifications, it would definitely be better than the no cleaning that is right now. i honestly cannot remember the last time i actually dusted EVERY surface, cleaned the ENTIRE bathrooms, or vacummed EVERY square inch much less did the other random cleanings that should be done every so often, such as cleaning the windows, cleaning out the frig, cleaning the washer (the top edges of mine get so dirty), sweep the garage and back patio. it drives me crazy!! i want a clean and neat house. not that i have to clean every other day but at least once a week; especially now with ella and 2 dogs!

but in the end i know that if i did have a housekeeper, i would feel guilty because i really do want to clean my house. i am already relinquishing other duties of mommy and wife because i am working. i would hate to relinquish another. sooooooo for now i will try to squeeze in a quick vacuum of the most trafficked areas and who knows about anything else. **so be warned if you come by...please ignore the filth. (o:

kroger: new and improved

i absolutely love our new kroger!! crazy to post about a grocery store but it really is wonderful. they even have 2 sushi chefs that make fresh sushi daily! they have a huge organic foods section which is fabulous because they carry large quantities of the milk ella drinks (horizon hormone free whole milk with dha and omega 3). when i shop at other stores, i just have to hope they have her milk but now i just go to the new kroger! oh and the floral department is nice and large! they have a great variety of potted plants/flowers and fresh cut flowers. i love to have plants and flowers around our house! (i usually get plants/flowers for inside the house at walmart and/or kroger) the aisles are also extra wide. it is so much nicer not to perform covert maneuvering to squeeze 2 grocery carts down an aisle. and the another great thing is that i always go down spillway to hugh ward to get to walmart anyway so now kroger will be on my way home. sooooo if you haven't checked out the new kroger on spillway road, check it out!

is making time even possible?

from the beginning of our relationship, i have always been the health nut: watching what i eat, exercising (although sometimes infrequent). well the tables have turned. between work, running the house, taking care of ella, jerm, and the dogs, at the end of the day or at the beginning of the day for that matter, i am utterly exhausted. in may, jerm made a huge decision to change his lifestyle to a more healthy one. the person whose veins ran coke, now only drinks water or gaterade. the person i would beg to eat more healthy is now eating good things. and on top of that he has been exercising. i am soooo proud of him!! we bought an elliptical in june. in the last 5 months jerm has used it at least 4-5 times a week on average; i have used it a total of twice. how terrible! great for jerm but terrible for me. i have got to get some time, energy, and motivation to get into shape. the stress at work has caused my appetite to decrease and my metabolism to increase so i have lost the remainder of the baby weight. which is not a healthy way to do it but it was unintentional. but i know that i need to get back into exercising; it's just the legistics. i get up around 5:15am, at work by 7am, off work at 4:30pm, pick up ella, home around 5:15/5:30pm, ella eats at 6pm, play with ella, give her a bath, ella in bed between 7:30/8:00, get her bag/food/clothes ready and set out for next day, usually need to cook and/or clean up from dinner, maybe work in some laundry, by then it's around 9 and all i can think about is sleep. i am asleep within 2 minutes of my head hitting the pillow. only to wake up and do it all over again the next day. i am not complaining; maybe i am justifying but legistically exercising does not fit into my daily routine right now. i would have to deprive myself of sleep to get up earlier or go to bed later and work out then. i don't think so. now i do walk alot at work (our office is huge), i take the stairs in the parking garage every day, but its not aerobic exercise like i know i need. so anyway, i know i need to figure something out but there are only so many hours in the day.

Lord, empty me

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds onto
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with you
Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you, so I surrender all.

(lyrics by chris sligh)

blackberry leaf

you know how everyone's home has their own unique smell--sometimes good, sometimes not. well my favorite candle fragrance has been discontinued! i am so upset. crazy, i know, that i am so upset about this but it's hard for me to find a candle fragrance i like. most of them are too strong or fruity or flowery. but my blackberry leaf from the thymes was the perfect blend of smells. and now it's gone or at least that is what i can assume since i can't find it anywhere on their website anymore. so i am on the quest for a new fragrance. i want something light, clean, and with maybe a slight hind of flowery. my first try will be kimono rose, also by the thymes, but i think it is a bit too strong and flowery. i'm going to give it a few chances though.

observations

most of the time we all float through life just thinking about what is going on in our own world. we are so caught up in what we have to do, we forget or don't even notice what is going on around us. sometimes i catch myself at the oddest moments realizing how small i am considering how many many people there are in the world. one of the moments happens when i am driving to work, at 6:30 am. i am usually preoccupied thinking about what i have to do at work that day or what i have to get done once i get home. but just about every morning, i see this man walking on the other side of lakeland drive along the pearl river bridge. he goes to this same gas station across the bridge every single morning. and i do mean every morning except when it's raining. he always has his long hair in a ponytail; well to my shock one morning a few weeks ago, he cut his hair! so random to notice i know but i always wonder about this man. not sure where he walks from; i always see him in that one spot-- walking on the bridge or about to cross lakeland to the gas station. but he reminds me that there are other people in the world with their own lives, issues, stresses, etc. God wants us to think of others and not ourselves. it is so hard to do that in this selfish world we live in. but i thank God for this little man; for how he reminds me that's it's not only about me and my life; it's about all of God's creatures and how He cares for all of them, so shouldn't we??

my journal

those of you who know me, know that i express myself better writing than talking and it also helps me to process things, vent, etc. when write about it. since the other blog is more of a family photo album/journal, i didn't want to cloud it up with my ramblings. hence, this blog of my thoughts was created. not sure how much i will write on it. but check back often!